It’s Not About How to Catch a Cheater
Do you believe your partner is cheating? If so, you are not alone. Nearly one third of all relationships encounter infidelity, making it not that uncommon.
When you become suspicious of your partner, it may be easy to be overwhelmed. It is difficult to convince someone to come clean about their infidelity. No one wants to admit their unfaithful behavior — and many individuals that engage in cheating behavior find ways to justify their actions. You may find yourself being really jealous, even if that’s out of character for you. Going through their phone or stalking your partner will only get you more engulfed in an unhealthy obsession. The best thing for you to do is learn how to recognize the signs of a cheater and know when it is time to confront or leave the toxic situation.
Research suggests that affairs tend to be the aftermath of already present relationship/marital problems. This means that if you suspect your partner is cheating or catch a cheater, there is already other things going on that are negatively impacting your relationship.
Prepare Yourself And Decide
Before taking any action towards this, you have to prepare yourself for the worst. It might be nothing, but it might be exactly what you were suspecting. This is why you need to be at peace with whatever happens in order to handle things at your best. Also, decide how far you want to go and whether your relationship is worth saving or not. Sometimes (especially if this isn’t the first time) it’s just easier for you to walk away and move on, you know you deserve better.
One of the more obvious signs of unfaithful behavior is a mysteriously contracted sexually transmitted disease on you or your spouse. If both you and your partner were STD-free at the start of your committed relationship, it would be incredibly improbable that one of you randomly contracts an STD.
A study has shown that people engaging in unfaithful behavior fail to use a condom correctly significantly more than those who are in a committed relationship. If you notice that your partner or yourself are exhibiting rashes or sores, it is recommended that you see a physician to make a proper diagnosis to know whether or not the ailment was sexual transmitted. This would be equivalent to catching your partner red-handed and would be a tell-tale sign to detect a cheater. Of course, not every cheater will contract an STD, in this case it may be better for you to closer exam. It may be easiest to look at your personal situation.
Asking them directly is probably the most ‘adult’ thing you can do for your relationship. If you suspect something to be happening behind your back, open up to your partner and let them know how you feel. They might not tell you the truth right away, but you will definitely see their reaction if they’re hiding something. Or, you both end up in laughter because of your ‘silly thoughts’ and become even closer to each other. However, it could also be something else.
According to research, certain events may make a person more inclined to cheat. Some of these events include unplanned pregnancy, communication problems, financial problems, or emotional problems. Even if you are not experiencing one of these stressful events, certain behaviors may indicate chance for infidelity.
A study investigating infidelity has argued that there was one major factor that was significant in predicting unfaithful behaviors: commitment level. While it may seem obvious, it is one of the largest determining factors that people don’t always think about. If your partner ever gives you the impression that they are not committed (such as if they cheated in the past or have a history of low commitment in previous relationships), this may be a sign that they will/ are cheating.
Personality traits such as attachment anxiety or narcissism in you or your partner may also indicate if your spouse is statistically likely to cheat. These kinds of factors relate back to a need for good communication and mutual respect. Learning to understand your partner’s feelings and how to accept certain boundaries can be important in a relationship.
If you notice that you and your partner are having any difficulties in your relationship, it may be best to seek help from a professional, such as a marriage counselor or couples therapy. In order to get to the root of things and why your communication got broken along the way, you need to talk calmly, be 100% open and honest with each other, and the best way to put your ego aside and resolve this is with a third (professional) party involved.
Lastly, have an understanding of your partner and why he did this. It’s true, you are the victim here, but if this is the first time and he sincerely apologized, your relationship might be worth saving, because there are always two sides of the story and love is all about forgiveness. On the other hand, if this still bothers you, even months after, you need to break things and move on. What’s the point of staying in an already ruined relationship, being miserable with each other?